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All Deviations


driven away from
every thought of
sense or reason
i once had within me

you captivated me
deftly stole my sanity
by the mischievous glint
in your alluring eyes

i thought i had control
of the most basic of senses
but i lost that
the moment i met you

i am a man in shackles
and you hold the key
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Submitted: May 17
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Author's Comments

i've not had chance to play with a sonnet before. could not make it rhyme, but as i understand it, they do not have to rhyme these days.

rhyming is not my strong suit.

the theme is love and this is what i believe love to be. insanity of a socially-acceptable flavor. utter masochism.
consider me a lunatic. :rose:
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Devious Comments

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~Zer0Hawke:iconZer0Hawke: May 17, 2008, 7:45:28 AM
It is masochism and insanity but we could not survive without it.

"The lunatic, the lover and the poet are of imagination all compact"
“Lovers and madmen have such seething brains, such shaping fantasies, that apprehend more than cool reason ever comprehends.”
- William Shakespeare. Because we all know poets are right.

--
"You're only free when you have nothing left" - Emilie Autumn, Faces Like Mine
=DarcKnyt:iconDarcKnyt: May 17, 2008, 10:52:13 AM
Excellent point, Peter. What is love but targeted abandon of sanity for the sake of single other?

--
God bless,
JDT :batman:
~MorganeLeFey:iconMorganeLeFey: May 17, 2008, 11:40:34 AM
Great poem, Peter. I absolutely loved the last stanza.
It's amazing how many good poems you manage to write on the same topic. When I think I've read all that's to read about your love for Her, you mange to surprise me with yet another excellent poem. You have my admiration.

--
Don't Worry, Be Happy! Life Sucks Anyway.
~RedEyedRogue:iconRedEyedRogue: May 17, 2008, 1:12:21 PM
:O_o: I don't this is a sonnet...
at least not in the Shakespearian sense of the word.
It's suppoused to have the scheme -
ABABCDCDEFEFGG
And then have ten syllables in each sentence?

...I could be wrong...

^^; Great poem thing though.^^
Definitely a good flavor for a poem and well written. Some poets don't like constructive criticism...
I don't know though.
This poem reminded me of the God of Madness in a game I play - his name is Sheogorath. He'd likely agree with the ideals you have here.

--
The lives of Bards are simple things,
Not fraught with many dangers.
Their greatest test is generating;
Songs for total strangers.
*peterdawes:iconpeterdawes: May 17, 2008, 1:44:41 PM
I am certainly open to constructive criticism. Do not hesitate.
No, definitely not a Shakespearian sonnet. I hesitated in using the sonnet model at all until I found this work: [link]

There are a variety of forms within the umbrella of sonnet. I am not certain how much the non-rhyming ones qualify, though. Whatever the matter, Pablo Neruda's sonnets are non-rhyming in English. (Perhaps they rhymed in his native language.) I'll cloak myself within his coattails. ;)

Thank you kindly for your thoughts and the favorite. :)

--
"And the wild regrets and the bloody sweats
None knew so well as I:
That he who lives more lives than one,
More deaths than one shall die."
- Oscar Wilde
=Amriah:iconAmriah: May 17, 2008, 1:45:54 PM
I enjoyed this! Your view on love is very pessimistic, but true for today's world. Anyways, great poem. :nod:

--
“A word of advice from one Reaper to another,” Kyniel took a defensive stance. “Never let your ego get the best of you.”
The Realm Within
*peterdawes:iconpeterdawes: May 17, 2008, 1:53:11 PM
*chuckles* Pay no mind to the pessimist. I am currently estranged from my beloved. Very hard to see the daisies and the roses at the moment. However, I am glad the poem was still enjoyable. :)
Thank you for the favorite. :blackrose:

--
"And the wild regrets and the bloody sweats
None knew so well as I:
That he who lives more lives than one,
More deaths than one shall die."
- Oscar Wilde
=Amriah:iconAmriah: May 17, 2008, 1:55:02 PM
No problem, and I'm usually pretty pessimistic myself just not in this area :XD:

Aw, I hope that is not a permanent thing.

--
“A word of advice from one Reaper to another,” Kyniel took a defensive stance. “Never let your ego get the best of you.”
The Realm Within
*peterdawes:iconpeterdawes: May 17, 2008, 1:55:39 PM
Why thank you. Coming from a gifted poet such as yourself, I consider that a high compliment. :)
Thank you for the favorite.

--
"And the wild regrets and the bloody sweats
None knew so well as I:
That he who lives more lives than one,
More deaths than one shall die."
- Oscar Wilde
~MorganeLeFey:iconMorganeLeFey: May 17, 2008, 2:00:51 PM
Now you're making me blush. :blush:
You're welcome.

--
Don't Worry, Be Happy! Life Sucks Anyway.