Notes to Ian Curtis

one

i walked along lonely streets
with a lit cigarette in hand.
attempting to find it all.
the center of the city;
the dead souls that seem to
keep calling me.
tell me, as you waited for her
did she ever arrive?


two

“god in his wisdom took you by the hand
god in his wisdom helped you understand.”

since you know better than most now...
... is there truly a god?


three

i once owned unknown pleasures
on vinyl.
at times, i miss
placing a needle on the spinning
large, black disc and listening
to the popping,
the crackling, the bumps.
i always thought that was
part of the ambiance of the music.
perhaps the ghosts
attempting to sing along.


four

love will tear us apart.
but at times, it mends us as well.
i am sorry
you never knew what this was like
while you were alive.
we tortured souls
do not often know how to accept
such a thing.

five

when i am walking alone
on the city streets
with a lit cigarette
i still mutter the lyrics to
“shadowplay”
underneath my breath.
tell me, as you waited for her
did she ever arrive?


six

since you know better than most now...
... is there truly a god?

or are we just alone
in this colony?